So I had a bad day at work. Unfortunatley a coworker decided to try and get me in trouble in several different ways. I am greatful that all my other coworkers decided to stick up for me but at the same time I wanted resolution with this coworker. I decided I needed to talk to her because I didn’t like hearing what others were saying and I wanted it to stop, for everyone.
I approached the person at the end of the day and she gave me an earful of nothing. No validity to any of it. I ended up telling her that I preferred that she come to me, not anyone else or that I would not put up with this type of behavior and that I would not do this to her and that is why I was coming to her rather than letting any of this continue. I may have been a little harsh with my tone but she was trying to get me in trouble, even fired. So the conversation didn’t end well.
By the way, I went to my boss and she said she was glad I did what I did. She also told me that my coworker was trying to get me in trouble but it didn’t work because my other coworkers had already complained about what she was doing to me.
I don’t mind confrontation if it leads to resolution. I don’t like it when it is still in the air. I told all my coworkers to treat her right and not to get involved and that the best thing they can do is to work peacefully. I just feel like I could have been a little nicer about wanting her to come to me first. Any suggestions? How would you feel if a coworker was trying to get you fired?
February 23, 2008 at 12:04 am
Hey Christine…it’s a tough situation. I am not sure how “harsh” you were, but overall it sounds like you handled it right. The more that is said indirectly the worse it gets.
I had a situation a few years ago where someone felt that I had manipulated my way into a guaranteed big tip. I had overheard my work partner for the night making comments to the other employees about my “underhandedness.” It really hurt me, but I confronted her, reviewed the chain of events and let her know that I value my integrity and anyone there who knew me knew better than to believe what she was saying. In my case she actually apologized and our relationship changed for the better.
My point is, I did what I thought was right. I had no control over how she reacted. Fortunately we were able to reconcile and move past it. We even laughed about it later on.
You can only control you. If you have done nothing wrong and others know your integrity, I don’t think you need to worry too much. I can imagine it makes things a bit uncomfortable at work, but it sounds like it is her choice to create that atmosphere.
By the way…I cried hard and probably looked awful as I tried to continue taking care of the guests at the table. It’s a blow when someone intentionally attacks your character when your character means so much to you.
If confronting her does not resolve things, then your boss should be involved. It sounds to me like a form of harassment.
February 23, 2008 at 12:06 am
P.S.
I hope your day smells better tomorrow!
February 23, 2008 at 12:50 am
my sympathies to you, my friend, it’s a truly yucky place you’re in
I used to have a coworker who made my whole day miserable. We are a very small staff so it was uncomfortable for everyone.
I got into the habit of talking to God as I was driving into work - offering up the day to Him, praying for guidance as to how best deal with this woman, wanting to honor Him not only for myself but our whole staff and the meaningful work we do.
I asked my small group to pray on it with me and - this was the hardest part - I prayed intentionally for her and for our interactions. It was a long, hard time but eventually God moved her on to a different job, and I learned a valuable lesson about dealing with difficult people and trusting God to handle sitations that I cannot.
now when I pray for her, I even mean it
good luck