Sunday morning Turner had a meltdown. He loves going to church but he can’t stand being in the kindergarten room for 3-1/2 hours. I don’t blame him. He is in school all week, we are in Freedom’s Gift practice Saturdays and Sundays which leaves Turner without his parents undivided attention alot-ALOT! I don’t like this. I initially dropped out of the production because of Turner but was asked to come back because someone had to drop.
When it was time to get ready for church the other morning, Turner was standing in the corner of his room on his bed with his hands in his jammies saying, “I don’t want to go it is too long!” I had to stop and think for a minute. My son is trying to tell me something. He is saying, “I need you, I miss you and I don’t want to do this anymore.” He was defiant in getting dressed and made it very clear he was not going to obey me.
Which way do I go with this situation? I could discipline him for disobeying me and make him get dressed with force. Not a good option. God spoke to me so quickly. He made me realize that my action at this point could dictate his view of church and how he could possibly feel about God later.
I said to him, “Turner, it is a long time in class. I realize we are really busy and that you want our time and I am sorry that it has been this way. I need your help today Turner. I promised Brian I would be at church to help. I will see what I can do about next Sunday. Can you get dressed and help mommy today?” He hugged me and got dressed.
The important thing is that children need to be listened to. Even when we are in a hurry and don’t have time to deal with getting our children dressed. In their young hearts, they are still learning how to deal with their own feelings and how to express themselves. When we respond in a way that acknowledges their feelings, speak to them with understanding and explain in simple ways for them to grasp, the situation can be resolved quickly.
Here is the cool thing. I do not have to be at Kingdom Kids because the director took care of it. Next year Turner will be in the class and he will love big group. I think the most important lesson to learn from this is to never sacrifice your family on the alter of church ministry. God gave me the responsibilty to minister to my family first. We are to be involved in church ministry but not to the extent that it could harm the spiritual growth our child.
I’ve had similar experiences with my kids here and there. I’m glad for the times my heart has been in a soft enough state that I am able to respond like you did. I’m sad for the times I didn’t. Thanks for refreshing my memory on what matters most.
This is good. I really like it. I want to send it to my mom! Cause to be honest thats how I feel right now too, how Turner does. It’s really annoying, and even though I’m in jr high I still feel that way with Freedoms Gift. It’s so time consuming… and my mom is at the church sooo much.. and even though I’m there with her that whole time I can’t talk about anything because she’s busy. I totally understand how Turner feels here!